Films: One Million AC/DC (1969)

Alias: That dumb toy Tyrannosaurus Rex, a horny ape

Type: Ancient

Location: Does it matter?

Height/Weight: Who cares?

Affiliation: I wanna die

Summary: How?! How could anyone look at any of this and think it was okay?! "Monster a Go Go" and "Manos" were one thing, but this...this is a whole new standard for pure cinematic dumpster fire. It boggles the mind how the people who made this said, "Yup, this is how we want to be remembered!", and didn't stop and wonder why. Either way, this sex-fueled caveman movie is all but extinct in the eyes of filmgoers, and we're perfectly okay with that.

History: There's cavemen. They like to have sex. There's a Tyrannosaurus Rex that occasionally chomps on one of them. Oh, and that Tyrannosaurus Rex is the same two-bit puppet that fought Gorga. How good for him. There's also a subplot about a gorilla-man kidnapping a woman to do...you know. And this series of escape attempts is apparently played for laughs. No. No. No. No. All of the no's.

Notable Kills: Credit where credit is due, there's a funny scene where a man makes the wimpiest attempt at a spear throw, and gets chomped by the Turannosaurus for it.

Final Fate: A caveman builds on his predecessor's mistake and uses a bow and arrow to do the Tyrannosaurus in, and the captive woman comes back to the rest of the clan with the ape-man, having grown used to her captor's company. Yay, Stockholm syndrome conquers all. This film can go jam a rabid badger into its crotch for all we care.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: See that blank spot? That's were it would have been. But a film like this doesn't even deserve that kind of respect. Not even a 1. To all you young filmmakers out there, if you feel inclined to have a kidnapped woman submit to her rapist captor, torch that script and run.

Trivia: -As we said before, that was the Tyrannosaurus from "The Mighty Gorga", an infinitely more honorable role for it.

-Apparently, Ed Wood had a hand in this film. Considering how he was tackling depression at the time, it wasn't a good idea.